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身穿白色病服的林不凡看的津津有味。
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金刚推门的动静让病房吊灯晃出残影，林不凡手忙脚乱把平板塞进被窝的动作，活像被班主任逮到看漫画的中学生。
\"哟，我们天鸿市大英雄在欣赏自己的英姿呢？\"秋落月抱着长刀倚在门框上，病号服肩头还粘着片枯叶，那是她今早在医院后山练刀时沾的。
金刚一屁股坐在心电监护仪旁边，不锈钢支架发出不堪重负的呻吟。
他晃着手机屏幕，上面正是林不凡冰封半座宴会大厅的新闻画面：\"瞧瞧这标题，神秘冰系强者单手镇压进化阶变异体，这滤镜给你加得跟仙侠剧似的\"
\"滤镜哪有我本人玉树临风\"林不凡用脚尖勾起床底的零食箱，冰霜顺着棉被蔓延成小冰箱\"尝尝？护士站顺的哈根达斯，我用绝对零度保鲜的。\"
秋落月刀鞘精准拍飞抛来的冰淇淋，奶油在半空划出抛物线：\"你左手还打着石膏，昨天是谁被蛛后捅个对穿哭爹喊娘？\"
\"那叫战略性诱敌！\"林不凡掀开被子，胸前绷带赫然画着q版蜘蛛，旁边歪歪扭扭写着\"手下败将\"，\"再说了，某些人拔刀斩切歪三度的事......\"
\"咔嗒\"一声，秋落月的刀出鞘半寸，床头柜上的苹果突然变成八等份。
金刚抓起苹果块塞了满嘴，含糊不清地打圆场：\"要我说还是小林牛逼，弹幕都在猜你面具下是不是毁容了\"他点开视频暂停在某帧，画面里林不凡的冰晶面具被气流掀开一角，露出半张糊成马赛克的脸。
\"这打码技术比官方的保密处还绝\"林不凡打了个响指，冰渣在指尖凝成个中指形状的表情包\"倒是金刚你火出圈了，热搜前十——震惊！佛门高手竟当街裸奔！\"
秋落月噗嗤笑出声，刀尖颤得像是风铃。金刚涨红了脸拍大腿\"放屁！老子那是明王金身！\"
\"金身个鬼，监控截图里你屁股蛋子都在反光\"林不凡划开手机相册，某张高糊图片上确实有团人形马赛克在发光\"现在表情包都叫你【佛光普照.jpg】\"
两人笑作一团时，秋落月突然把长刀横在病床上\"你们是不是忘了看第七条热搜？\"她刀面翻转成镜，映出某条标题——《神秘萝莉疑为用刀至强者，双马尾竟是杀人凶器？》
病房突然死寂。
林不凡盯着画面里秋落月戴着兔子兜帽的侧影，那是在超市买洗发水时被偷拍的。他憋笑憋得输液管都在抖：\"别说，这死亡芭比粉双马尾挺适合你......\"
刀光闪过，林不凡头顶多了个完美的地中海造型。冰晶护盾碎了一地，秋落月冷笑着甩掉发丝：\"你上个月被冰锥卡在厕所三小时的视频，需要我帮网友回忆下吗？\"
\"卧槽姑奶奶我错了！\"林不凡瞬间凝结出冰制假发套\"金刚你快管管她！\"
正在啃第六个苹果的金刚一脸懵逼抬头，明王纹身都吓亮了：\"关我啥事？上回她把我内裤切成六边形的时候你们谁管过？\"
秋落月突然收刀入鞘，从口袋里摸出个微型投影仪。
当林不凡裹着蛛丝像蚕宝宝般蠕动的画面投在墙上时，病房爆发出惊天动地的狂笑。
\"你这是侵犯伤员隐私！\"林不凡甩出冰锥要砸投影仪，被金刚用苹果核击落。
\"说到隐私......\"金刚突然压低嗓门，贼兮兮地点开某个直播间\"小林你救的那个女二代，天天在病房楼下举牌说要给你生猴子呢。\"
三人齐刷刷趴到窗边。楼下果然有个穿皮卡丘连体衣的姑娘，灯牌上\"冰哥哥娶我\"五个大字正随着土味情歌疯狂闪烁。
\"现在下去灭口还来得及\"秋落月指尖摩挲着刀柄。
\"别啊！\"林不凡摸出小镜子整理冰晶刘海\"我这该死的魅力......哎你们去哪？\"
回答他的是两扇被重重摔上的病房门，以及走廊里金刚雷鸣般的吐槽：\"让他被女妖精抓走算了！\"
五分钟后，秋落月黑着脸回来甩给他一包辣条：\"楼下那个是变装系异能者伪装的，专门偷拍住院强者卖情报。\"她刀尖挑着张偷拍设备储存卡，\"顺便说，你嗦辣条流口水的蠢样值二十万点赞。\"var s = new Date().getSeconds() % 2;
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